Acceptance

7/19/14

Acceptance from others is something I have struggled with my whole life.  I want to be smart enough, tall enough, pretty enough, bold enough, enough of whatever they want me to be.  With some people in my life it has been a lifelong process.  It has taken me almost forty years to figure out that I do not need their acceptance.  I need to accept myself as I am.  God created me uniquely and if that is not enough for another person than that person is just a written line in my story, and I should not try to make it a chapter, because they will only hold me back.  My journey needs to be about how I fulfill the purpose God created in me.  

This morning I woke up sobbing because I have not given this need to God.  I realized that some people will just not accept me for who I am, where I am in my journey.  By not handing it to God, I was still holding on to hope that one day I would be enough for these people.  I am ready to give it to God and move forward to serve my purpose.  

I am enough.  I am beautiful - inside and outside.  I am smart.  I can face the challenges that are laid out for me in the journey of my life written specifically by God.  

Mandy Hale, who has been an inspiration for me as of late, posted this on Instagram the other day, “Forgive me for picking up what I’ve already laid down at your feet.”  This is so true.  How often do we ask God to take our struggle and then we continue to struggle with it here?  I do not plan on picking this struggle up again.  I will always have good and bad days about my looks, but I know that God created me and in his eyes I am gorgeous!

Have a terrific day!

Megan :)

7/11/14

Those who know me understand that I do not speak my mind openly and I tend to keep my opinions, ideas and problems to myself.  I like to think that I keep more inside than the normal person.  I do not have close friends who listen to my ranting about issues that occur.  With this being said, lately, my voice has emerged and I have found myself saying things that would offend even me.  I have learned that I need to be honest with people and this will not always be pleasant for them but it is necessary for growth - in them and mostly in me.  I have come to realize that I do not want to “pretend” to be friends with anyone anymore.  Fake promises, fake relationship status and fake people need to be evicted from my everyday life.  Other bloggers or people I follow on social media have all been saying the same thing - evict these negative people from your life.  I have become more bold in my words and to be honest, I expect people to do the same for me.  I want to know if I have offended someone, and I want to know if I am of value to my friends.  I have spent many years feeling that I have no value and there are days that I still struggle with that.  Everyone we meet, cross paths with or even smile at, has value in our everyday.  I value my friends honesty and truth and ability to help me grow as a person.  

The devil reminds me everyday of my failures and how I am not of value.  What is so very amazing to me, is in the same thought or breath, God reminds me of how unique I am and how valuable I am.  I am made in Gods image and God does NOT make junk.  I am put on this earth to have purpose, a purpose to better this earth from when I arrived. To make others feel valuable.  To be honest and truthful to those I love and cherish.  

Obviously, I have struggled with a few relationships this year as the last two posts have been about them.  This year has brought many challenges in relationships for me and has closed many doors.  I am grateful for each of them and I look forward to what else is in store for me.  Even though I am so very afraid of the doors that will close (or slam shut in my face).  

This journey of life is scary and every day, I will continue to do something to conquer my fears, no matter how small it may be. :)

Megan