7/11/14

Those who know me understand that I do not speak my mind openly and I tend to keep my opinions, ideas and problems to myself.  I like to think that I keep more inside than the normal person.  I do not have close friends who listen to my ranting about issues that occur.  With this being said, lately, my voice has emerged and I have found myself saying things that would offend even me.  I have learned that I need to be honest with people and this will not always be pleasant for them but it is necessary for growth - in them and mostly in me.  I have come to realize that I do not want to “pretend” to be friends with anyone anymore.  Fake promises, fake relationship status and fake people need to be evicted from my everyday life.  Other bloggers or people I follow on social media have all been saying the same thing - evict these negative people from your life.  I have become more bold in my words and to be honest, I expect people to do the same for me.  I want to know if I have offended someone, and I want to know if I am of value to my friends.  I have spent many years feeling that I have no value and there are days that I still struggle with that.  Everyone we meet, cross paths with or even smile at, has value in our everyday.  I value my friends honesty and truth and ability to help me grow as a person.  

The devil reminds me everyday of my failures and how I am not of value.  What is so very amazing to me, is in the same thought or breath, God reminds me of how unique I am and how valuable I am.  I am made in Gods image and God does NOT make junk.  I am put on this earth to have purpose, a purpose to better this earth from when I arrived. To make others feel valuable.  To be honest and truthful to those I love and cherish.  

Obviously, I have struggled with a few relationships this year as the last two posts have been about them.  This year has brought many challenges in relationships for me and has closed many doors.  I am grateful for each of them and I look forward to what else is in store for me.  Even though I am so very afraid of the doors that will close (or slam shut in my face).  

This journey of life is scary and every day, I will continue to do something to conquer my fears, no matter how small it may be. :)

Megan