3/1/15
    “Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same” -
All at Once, The Fray
    So in life, we happen across people who make a difference in our lives little by little and suddenly we cannot imagine life without them.  Then they step away from us and the relationship changes.  You are stuck there and your jaw has dropped and you are spinning.  While the change was looming over you, and while you saw it in coming up on you in the rearview, it still hurts and it still stings and it just is something you struggle with.  There are days that go by and you are great, fine, and do not think about how the changes have been made or how the changes have hurt.  Then there are the days where you cannot think correctly and you act like a fool and you cannot breathe....  this person who was not the one you wanted to be the one, this person who you did not think would matter so much - matters so much.  You struggle and are heartbroken each time that you have to see them or cross their path.  Yet they want to continue this but on their terms and only if you can act like nothing matters and that you do not care.  All you want is for them to be happy and even if you cannot make them happy - it is what is important to you.  Your own happiness needs to be set aside so you can make sure that they are happy.  Somedays this is easy to do and there are the days where making their happiness is like a 1,000 pound weight that you cannot bear.  You cannot tell this person the struggle you have because you are ashamed of it and feel that they will not understand.  Putting on that smile so they think everything is ok, is all you can do to get through.  While life moves forward and every day brings new challenges and changes, there are days when you still cannot breathe at the thought of this person because your feelings are still there.  So while you need to allow the relationship to continue on their terms and you still only want their happiness, it becomes the hardest thing and the right thing at the same time.  Sometimes, being able to watch them become happy without you, while you still cheer on the sidelines of their life, makes you happy too.
                                        Megan