7-15-2013

Ok so writing a blog scared me a bit more than I expected.  It is funny how life just keeps moving and one day you realize that it has been over a year since you have done something.  It is also funny how over the course of said year, so many things that scared me have happened.  I moved into an apartment with my daughter - one of the best experiences I could have asked for.  I took some classes at college that I normally would not have taken - another good learning, Nazi Germany post WWI and pre WWII was a very interesting atmosphere.  I dated two men who I admire dearly, and failed miserably at both relationships and jeopardized both friendships.  Accepted a new position at work with more responsibilities - because I have extra time to worry about work, school, my daughter, my life and my parents....  My daughter got engaged and is getting married in August.  I am in the process of moving again - smaller place just for me, there will be lots of pink.  :)  So, yes this blog fell to the wayside and I apologize.  

I do intend to write again because this does help me move past some things that I am afraid of.  I have killed about five spiders since I moved in with my daughter, I have made new friends and lost some friends, I did date and I made some peace with other things from the past.  

One big thing that I have learned this past year is that pride is a terrible emotion to have.  It tears our self esteem apart and it prevents us from moving forward.  Pride encourages us to hold on to anger and resentment like badges to show everyone around us.  I want to live a life with very little regret and pride allows you to believe that you are not going to regret your decisions yet it prohibits you from being a forgiving person.  I sent an email tonight to a friend who I miss terribly.  I haven’t spoken to him in person for almost five months, and pride made me believe that I was doing the right thing.  I am scared as I wait to see if he responds, yet I know that what I needed to say has been said.  John Mayer stated: “even if your hands are shaking, and your faith is broken...say what you need to say....”  it is so very true.  

So bear with me as I attempt this again.  I do not want to promise a weekly or biweekly update, but I do want to promise more consistency.  

Thank you!  Megan