12/19/14

Leaving

I have called Green Bay for 98% of my life.  I lived in Plover for eight months when my daughter was one, and then in Waukesha for eleven months when my daughter was turning two. 
Leaving a place that I know well is frightening.  

I know my way around both the east and west side - and to some people that live here they know that is not always accomplished by people.  There are “east siders” and “west siders”.  

I do not know Milwaukee at all.  I mean, when I was down there last month for two days looking at apartments, I got to see the neighborhood I will be living in but... it isn’t the same.  

It is uncomfortable.  

and I am frightened.  

and that makes me emotional.  and I HATE IT.  

I have not been a good friend this year.  ok - honestly for the last four years.  I have given up my friendships and social life for school.  To pursue my dream.  My purpose.  

I thought this summer would be the summer that I could make up for my lack of time.

It did not live up to my expectations.  and that is my fault.  Expectations are the root of all heartache.  I need to learn to not expect.  

So - to those who I have put aside, I am truly sorry.  I love you.  and I will miss you everyday (because I already do and living in another city will make me miss you more).

I am leaving because I need / have this desire / am called to.  

I have this purpose to teach kids in high school.  Those kids that no one wants to teach.  “Inner city kids.”  Kids who come from broken homes. Kids who are not believed in.  Kids that are forgotten by their neighbors, their cities, their government and sometimes their families.  Kids who will someday make decisions about the world that we live in.  Kids that have hope.  Kids that will go out into the world and cause change for everyone.  

I am excited beyond words.  

I am also emotional - so if you see me in the next ten days and I start crying - it isn’t personal, it’s cleansing my soul of my imperfections as a friend.  and the fact that I am frightened to be alone in a large city I do not know......but I will learn it! :)

Merry Christmas to your families and safe travels.  <3 Megan